pleaae Task 2 Some people think that animals should have rights while others don't think

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
luke Thompson
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:14 am

pleaae Task 2 Some people think that animals should have rights while others don't think

Post by luke Thompson »

Luke Thompson:
Recently, there have not been any drastic changes in the animal use of people. As ever, the most foods are made from animal meat and some sciences include tests with the help of wild life. This trend raises a bitter controversy, with people claiming animals deserve to have same rights as human beings while others concern that we are right to use any creators for further advancement. In this essay, both sides of issue will be discussed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.


First of all, animals play influential role maintenance of ecosystem thoughout the world. To illustrate, ducks and rabbits clean the environment from some disasters. However, should animal usage continue in our daily lives, we might have extinction of some important species. Inevitably, it brings some other problems like breaking food chain of wild life. Moreover, scientific research on animals might effect negatively on them which might be harmful to ordinary people. As a salient example, red rats in most Asian countries, were created by the fail of Chinese and damaging big number of crops every year.

On the other hand, from long term history animal meat and wool have been considered as important factors of survival. As regards to recent claims, rabbit contains proper nutrients for immune system. Therefore, if animal foods are banned, people might have problems with their diets. Thus, in order to have healthy lifestyle , we should eat more meats.

Another particularly worth noting thing is that human life values more in most cases . As a result, when there are some pressing matters such as cancer or ageism , scientific should find solutions urgently. In that case, under no circumstances should people use animal testing to find safe cure.

In conclusion, animal use contains to be a critical issue. Nonetheless, in terms benefits mankind reaps likw efficient food sources and tested enhancements, we should use animals as long as there is limitation.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: pleaae Task 2 Some people think that animals should have rights while others don't think

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Oh, I don't like that introduction. I think you got the first sentence wrong. The first part of the second sentence too. Creators or creations? Advancement?

Ducks and rabbits clean up after disasters??? The fail of the Chinese?

Overall, the range and accuracy of grammar and vocabulary is very limited. All your points are either unclear or undeveloped.

All the best,
David
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: pleaae Task 2 Some people think that animals should have rights while others don't think

Post by Flick »

luke Thompson wrote: Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:52 pm Luke Thompson:
Recently, there have not been any drastic changes in the animal use of people.(<--I don't understand this sentence.) As ever, most foods are made from animal meat and some sciences include carrying out tests on animals. This trend raises a bitter controversy, with people claiming animals deserve to have the same rights as human beings, while others believe that we are right to use any animal to further our own advancement. In this essay, both sides of the issue will be discussed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn.


First of all, animals play an influential role in the maintenance of the ecosystem thoughout the world. To illustrate, ducks and rabbits clean the environment from some disasters. However, should animal usage continue in our daily lives, we face the extinction of some important species. Inevitably, this will cause some other problems like breaking the food chain. Moreover, scientific research on animals might negatively effect them, which might be harmful to ordinary people. As a salient example, red rats in most Asian countries were created by the failure of Chinese(<--I don't understand what you mean.) and are consequently damaging a large number of crops every year.

On the other hand, animal meat and wool have long been considered important factors of survival. As regards to recent claims, rabbit contains proper nutrients for immune system.(<--I don't understand this sentence. Rabbit meat does not contain enough nutrients to sustain a human.) Therefore, if animal meat isbanned, people might have problems with their diets. Thus, in order to have a healthy lifestyle, we should eat more meats.

Another particularly worth noting thing is that human life values more in most cases .(<--I don't understand this sentence.) As a result, when there are some pressing matters such as cancer or ageism (<-- Ageism is discriminating against individuals or groups based on their age. How can science fix this?), science should find solutions urgently. In that case, under no circumstances should people use animal testing to find a safe cure.(<--This contradicts the first sentence in the paragraph, suggesting human life is more important than animal life.)

In conclusion, animal rights continue to be a critical issue. Nonetheless, in terms of benefits mankind reaps, like efficient food sources and tested enhancements, we should use animals as long as there is limitation.
Post Reply