Writing task 2: I appreciate if you could give me your feedback and an estimated score band! Thank you so much

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Anamaria10
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:32 pm

Writing task 2: I appreciate if you could give me your feedback and an estimated score band! Thank you so much

Post by Anamaria10 »

The essay topic:

"Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. What are the advantages and disadvantages? "

My answer:

Because population has increased in the last decades, there is necessary to produce more food to ensure people’s feeding. Therefore, although fertilizers and better machinery have been implemented to benefit the crops yield, there are also drawbacks in relation to these procedures which involve negative effects on human health.

On one hand, the need of producing more food to cover a worldwide necessity has impelled the development of methods to help improve the crops productivity. Fertilizers give the plants or crops the nutrients of which the soil lacks, while equipment and machinery minimize the times for processes. Organic and inorganic fertilizers, for example, have been produced over the years to benefit the agricultural outcome, like food, depending on a previous soil characterization that outlines the needed nutrients to be absorbed by the plants.

On the other hand, despite the advantages of using fertilizers for food production, there are disadvantages in regards to the human health. As a result of the fertilizers composition, there can be negative effects and even ailments could be caused because of the chemical applied to the crop. For instance, when fertilizers are used on a vegetable crop the likelihood of causing health issues to the consumer is very high; the aforementioned due to the fact vegetables do not go through any industrial processes or treatments that help eliminate the fertilizers residues before offering the food products to the market. Besides, the use of machinery could disturb the soils characterization and so its productivity.

To conclude, using fertilizers and machinery to produce food is really a helpful tool to cover the demand of population increasing; however, if these methods are not used correctly, soils and community could be affected on productivity and health-wise, respectively.
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Flick
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Re: Writing task 2: I appreciate if you could give me your feedback and an estimated score band! Thank you so much

Post by Flick »

Anamaria10 wrote: Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:05 pm The essay topic:

"Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. What are the advantages and disadvantages? "

My answer:

Because the global population has increased over the last few decades, it is necessary to produce more food to ensure people’s feeding. Therefore, although fertilizers and better machinery have been implemented to improve crop yield, there are also drawbacks in relation to these procedures which involve negative effects on human health.

On one hand, the need to produce more food to cover a worldwide necessity has impelled the development of methods to help improve crop productivity. Fertilizers give the plants or crops the nutrients the soil lacks, while equipment and machinery minimize the times for harvesting and processing. Organic and inorganic fertilizers, for example, have been produced over the years to benefit the agricultural outcome, like food, depending on a previous soil characterization that outlines the needed nutrients to be absorbed by the plants.

On the other hand, despite the advantages of using fertilizers for food production, there are disadvantages in regards to human health. As a result of the fertilizers' composition, there can be negative effects and even ailments could be caused because of the chemicals applied to the crop. For instance, when fertilizers are used on a vegetable crop, the likelihood of causing health issues to the consumer is very high. This is due to the fact that vegetables do not go through any industrial processes or treatments that help eliminate the fertilizer's residue before offering the food products to the market. Besides, the use of machinery could disturb the soil's characterization and hence its productivity.

To conclude, using fertilizers and machinery to produce food is a helpful tool to cover the demand of an increasing population. However, if these methods are not used correctly, soils and community could be affected.
Anamaria10
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:32 pm

Re: Writing task 2: I appreciate if you could give me your feedback and an estimated score band! Thank you so much

Post by Anamaria10 »

Thank you for your valious feedback!
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