Please kindly review my writing

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
hnin
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 3:27 pm

Please kindly review my writing

Post by hnin »

Question: Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.
To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

Recycling is the key to reduce waste in our societies and save the earth. However, some people tend to say that today's recycling habit is not adequate yet, and therefore, governments should legalize recycling household waste. Although laws are essential in making public practice uniformly, in my opinion, it is not the most effective way.
Laws are the guidance for people's action, however, it does not necessarily mean that every action could be controlled by laws. First of all, recycling for some household produce may require some special methods, for example, in case of glass materials. Additionally, it is, sometimes, confusing for the consumer whether it can be recycled or not. For instance, not all plastic materials are recyclable. Another important factor is that there are so many laws to be abide by in a society, such as traffic laws, pedestrian laws and so on. Therefore, it would be overwhelming for the public if there are too many rules.
In fact, there would be some measures in order to encourage people's waste habit instead of imposing law. To begin with, public should be educated about, the benefit of recycling habit and the cost to earth by not recycling waste. For instance, holding campaign, to share the information about current waste problem to earth, could raise people's awareness. Furthermore, government should encourage businesses, which may be by reducing tax, to produce environment-friendly products. Consequently, consumers will use such products and it becomes greener to the environment.
To conclude, people are dealing with several laws in a society and enough of them make the society safer. However, it would be too stressing for the public to control their wasting habit by law. Therefore, in my view, people should be educated about it thoroughly in order to encourage them to recycle their waste.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please kindly review my writing

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, this is a good essay. I particularly liked the first main paragraph where you introduce key points with some development. I think that the second main paragraph is a little weaker because you do not develop the points so well, listing them instead.

Just my personal opinion, but I think that you could have made an argument for the government to inform people about where to recycle their waste and perhaps publicise recycling plants in local areas.

Vocabulary and organisation are very good. Grammatical range and accuracy are reasonable. I think some conditionals and modals would improve the essay ... and always do a quick check for basic errors!

All the best,
David
Post Reply