Please evaluate Task-2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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AhmadMukhtiar
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Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:51 am

Please evaluate Task-2

Post by AhmadMukhtiar »

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

World peace today is threatened by many criminals. However, among the most concerning are those who commit for the first time. Increase in crime rates is a growing social problem that affects the lives of thousands of people on a daily basis. This essay will suggest why number of offenders are on rise along certain strategies to tackle this problem and make these miscreants beneficial citizens.

There are many reasons why criminals commit offense for the second time. Firstly, first time law breakers are usually kept along high-profile culprits. While in jail most of the time they are free so they share with each other the things they have done before coming to prison. This affects the minds of fresh wrongdoers and they feel urge to engage in wrongdoing again. Secondly, most of the delinquents belong to poor families and they have no education. Moreover, they find it hard to get a job if the employer comes to know about their criminal background. As these offenders find hard to survive in society they commit again.

On the other hand, there are many methods that will guide malefactors to suppress the urge of committing felony and mix up in society. Firstly, if we want that these felons become good citizens, then there is need of separate jails for them so they will not learn bad habits from hardened criminals. In addition to this, these offenders need education and skills. Secondly, it is also essential to enforce society reforms for rehabilitation of criminals. Thus, in this way criminals would find themselves a part of society.

In conclusion, it is understandable that although there exist many offenders with proper guidance they could become good citizens. In my opinion the offenders if provided with education and care could give to society in a healthy way.
Last edited by AhmadMukhtiar on Fri Apr 18, 2014 9:44 am, edited 2 times in total.
AhmadMukhtiar
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:51 am

Re: Please evaluate Task-2

Post by AhmadMukhtiar »

please evaluate this essay.
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Flick
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Re: Please evaluate Task-2

Post by Flick »

AhmadMukhtiar wrote:Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

World peace today is threatened by many criminals. However, among the most concerning are those who commit for the first time. The increase in crime rates is a growing social problem that affects the lives of thousands of people on a daily basis. This essay will suggest why the number of offenders is on the rise, as well as certain strategies to tackle this problem and make these miscreants beneficial citizens.

There are many reasons why criminals commit offenses for the second time. Firstly, first time law breakers are usually kept with repeat offenders. While in jail, most of the time they are free to interact, so they share with each other the things they have done before coming to prison. This affects the minds of fresh wrongdoers and they feel urge to engage in wrongdoing again in order to impress more experienced criminals. (<-- It is a good idea to provide a reason. If you make a statement, such as 'the feel the urge to engage in wrongdoing again', you need to explain why you think this is true.) Secondly, most of the delinquents belong to poor families and they have no education. (<-- Why does this lead to crime?) Moreover, they find it hard to get a job if the employer finds out about their criminal background. As these offenders find it hard to survive in society, they commit again. (<-- This sentence is good. You are explaining why people turn to crime when employers find out about their criminal background. Good job!)

On the other hand, there are many methods that will guide malefactors to suppress the urge of committing another felony and return to society. Firstly, if we want that these felons to become good citizens, then there is need of separate jails for them so they will not learn bad habits from hardened criminals. In addition to this, these offenders need education and skills. Secondly, it is also essential to enforce society reforms for the rehabilitation of criminals. Thus, in this way criminals would find themselves able to become a useful part of society.

In conclusion, it is understandable that, although there exist many offenders, with proper guidance they could become good citizens. In my opinion the offenders, if provided with education and care, could give to society in a healthy way.
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