Could someone please review my essay....test is this saturday :)

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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binita123
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:25 pm

Could someone please review my essay....test is this saturday :)

Post by binita123 »

Some people think it is important to spend leisure time for activities that improve the mind such as reading and doing puzzles.Other people feel it is important to rest your mind during leisure time.
What extent do you agree or disagree?
In an age where it is getting more and more difficult to find free time from our hectic lifestyle, it is crucial that we spent it wisely.People have mixed opinions about how you should spend your free time,whether one should relax or try and be more active.In my opinion,leisure time should be spent on activities that fuels the mind as well as relaxes the body which can be achieved by multitude of things.
There are some people who enjoy a more active lifestyle,mentally and physically.Even after long hours of work they tend to spent their free time playing sports or reading books.This could is more relaxing for them that sleeping or watching mindless TV.This is a beneficial because these kind of activities not only improves concentration but also broadens their knowledge about different subjects.Hence,people could argue that we should all be more active and make use of our free time .
On the other hand,there are people who believe that leisure time should be spent in a less active manner like sleeping or listening to music.This is the time to relax your mind and body after all the stress of day to day life.Nowadays,people are known to work long hours which is both physically and mentally stressful to the body.This has caused an uprise in various health related problems which is so common today.Therefore,one cannot undermine the importance for rest and how important it is for the normal functioning of our body.
In conclusion,I believe leisure time should be both enriching to the mind and relaxing to the body.We should try and balance our free time by being active as well as resting when necessary.
293 words.
DigitalDrop
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:37 am

Re: Could someone please review my essay....test is this saturday :)

Post by DigitalDrop »

The introduction is good.. overall a good essay, your conclusion is a combination of two yes (right)... which in my opinion can get wrong .. overall a balanced essay..
You can write critical analysis supporting your anti-opinion
But at the end you should be on one side .. you should have your own opinion... being neutral gets risky sometimes.
I give you 7. But if you choose one side.. I am sure you will hit 8.
Do let me know ... regarding your result
DigitalDrop
Posts: 11
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:37 am

Re: Could someone please review my essay....test is this saturday :)

Post by DigitalDrop »

I appeared in exam last week (7th January.
Best of luck.. mine was General ... reading writing were easy.. listening a bit tough ... speaking had unusual topics like current affairs (didnt expect).. things like climate change, UN role etc :x
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