Please evaluate my essays.Desperately need feedback. Thanks.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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mostofakalam
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Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:05 am

Please evaluate my essays.Desperately need feedback. Thanks.

Post by mostofakalam »

The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions you can suggest?

Arguments about the extensively wrong usage of Internet have been going on since the advancement of communication technology. This trend is growing at an emerging rate among young generations globally. Although often debated, it is felt that the inactive lifestyle and uncensored browsing are precursor to high misuse of web. This essay will examine the stated problems and find appropriate explanations to eradicate those glitches from modern culture.

Firstly, along with all the best proposals by Internet, it presents us with Indoor lifestyle. As an illustration, now a days there are lots of online shops that delivers orders at door steps which can be very electrifying in crowded city life. That is steering people to become more sedentary rooting in a square box. Hence, every city must arrange more exciting outdoor routines which will benefit the dwellers to grow an ambition for becoming active persons.

In addition to that, without monitoring the traffic that transits through networks, people are becoming more infatuated by disadvantageous junks. For instance, our government ingeniously undertook filtering the websites that opposes one’s religious belief and harm the peaceful harmony among them. That approach vastly uprooted the chance for searching violence which was developing underneath the extremists. Hereafter, controlling over the content by sensory board could give the society with better lessons and practices.

To conclude, despite of the difficulties, a controlled delivery of network traffic can bring improved way of life and keep the society far from perils. It is, thus, hoped that the use of Internet should be governed so that the consumers use it in a wise way and will be benefited by thousand fold.

More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment.
What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people no to travel such long distance into work?

Concrete surroundings is a boredom thing, thus urban people are choosing to live in green rural area and taking the hassle to go to work every day by traveling far cannot be considered a sin. Although it may ensure people to have better life but it is not without drawbacks such as high traffic congestion and devastating environmental pollution. However, Steps can surely be taken to avoid this long distant travelling by the city workforce. A country view residential areas near the city and arrangements of better public transportation can definitely support the case.

Firstly, a better organized green living place is highly desired by city dwellers. For instance, Dhaka is one of the most overcrowded cities in the world. Creating satellite cities around its edges with more greeneries and public facilities will certainly be accepted much by fulfilling the requirements. Thus, a close nearby dwellings can create interest among labor force of cities.

Secondly, providing the dwellers with good mass transportation will also serve with the cause. Such as, a modern metro in tourist attracted Bangkok city is bringing travelers from every corner. This rail is reaching out all side of the town helping people to reach the central town in a convenient way. Therefore, better public transportation system can claim them to travel longer distance in shorter period of time.

In the conclusion, off the bank towns with rural amenities and exclusive traveling arrangements may serves the purpose. The above stated measures will easily encourage the people to reach cities within a shorter remoteness. For the sake of creating less chance for crowd over the roads and to avoid causing effects to our nature, this plans should be taken by countries all around the globe in unforeseeable future.

The money spent on space research has bought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. How far do you agree?

Since the beginning of time, discovering is a natural trait of human beings. Research for outer world has brought many undeniable advantages to humankind. However, the cost involved for this kind of enthusiast causes may not always aid goodness for mass people. The expense could be better applied for avoiding world hunger and preventing environmental pollution.

The most important out two reasons is, for greater well being of people in the world, eradication of malnutrition is compulsory. For example, under developed nations usually take actionable measures to generate sufficient food rather than spending in lavishness for secrets of the space. Outcome of such activities serves majorities than helping the minor knowledge seekers. As a result, better lifestyle can be bought with such money when people are dying for food.

In addition to that, all kinds of pollution are inclining day by day hindering people’s daily lives and will led to huge casualties. For example, recently Water Aid, a world renowned organization, took initiatives to create bars in the banks of riverine countries with hard turns to avert erosion. Due to this, contamination of water will reduce highly resulting in prevent extinction of wild habitats of lands and water at the same time. Thus, expenditure in such purpose is much beneficial when considering the best interest of vast people of the world.

To summarize, the capacity of sparing pennies has more valuable scopes in world full of food and keeping the nature out of danger. It is clear that, financing in galaxy explorations are important but there are more vital considerations are left neglected. I presume the world leaders and developed nations will identify the necessity and commission the degree of expenses for both sides accordingly.
Last edited by mostofakalam on Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:45 am, edited 6 times in total.
mostofakalam
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:05 am

Re: Desperately need feedback on WT2 01-03. Please state band scores. Welcome corrections and suggestions.

Post by mostofakalam »

Can anyone please share an insight?
mostofakalam
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:05 am

Re: Appreciate feedback on WT2 01-03. Please state suggested band scores with corrections and suggestions.

Post by mostofakalam »

Hi David.IELTS.Examiner and Flick,
If you please kind enough to share your opinion and work on my essays, I ll be very grateful.
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Flick
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Re: Please evaluate my essays.Desperately need feedback. Thanks.

Post by Flick »

mostofakalam wrote: More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment.
What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people no to travel such long distance into work?

Concrete surroundings is a boring thing, thus urban people are choosing to live in greener, rural areas and commuting to work every day. Although this may ensure people have a better lifestyle, it is not without drawbacks such as high traffic congestion and devastating environmental pollution. However, steps can surely be taken to avoid this long distance travelling by the city workforce. Residential areas near the city and arrangements for better public transportation can definitely support the case.

Firstly, a better organized green living place is highly desired by city dwellers. For instance, Dhaka is one of the most overcrowded cities in the world. Creating satellite cities around its edges with more green areas and public facilities will certainly be a step in the right direction. Thus, nearby dwellings can create interest among the labor force of cities.

Secondly, providing the citizens with good mass transportation will also serve the cause. For example, a modern metro in the popular city Bangkok is bringing travelers from every corner of the world. This rail spans the city, helping people to reach the central district in a convenient way. Therefore, a better public transportation system can help people to travel longer distances in a shorter period of time.

In conclusion, creating residential areas and improving public transport may serve the purpose. The above stated measures will easily encourage people to commute less. For the sake of reducing traffic congestion and to avoid polluting the environment, these plans should be implemented by countries all around the globe in the foreseeable future.
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