Children today are too dependent on computers and electronics entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than speeding all day indoors.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Technology has changed our life dramatically over the period of time. Nowadays, more and more children are spending plenty of their time in front of computers. In views, like everything, it has its own advantages and drawbacks. The same are explained in this essay.
On one hand, children today spend far more time inside with computer games, watching TV and videos. There are numerous repercussions of doing this. Children should develop some outdoor pursuits such as cricket, football, basketball that would make them healthy now and at later stage of their life. But if young people do not develop such habits now, it is very unlikely that they will develop it later and this is why many are suffering with obesity and other related diseases such as diabetes. Furthermore, while playing in a team with their peers, they can learn the importance of team spirit. Moreover, by interacting with each-others, new things can be learnt which can even broaden their minds.
On the other hand, this decade is dominated by machines and other electronics equipments. It is very important that children should learn to like and understand computers and its technologies at early stage of life. Moreover, there are few games which can even help in developing their brains. In addition, the older generation did not have the opportunity to have these electronic gadgets and hence they do not understand the attraction.
To conclude, I would certainly agree that these developments are unhealthy and harmful for children to spend entire time on indoor computer entertainments. I do not think that all the adolescences are dependent on this but there are many. We cannot expect our children to ignore these technologies completely and hence I believe that it is up to parents to teach their children and encourage a reasonable mixture of indoor and outdoor activities.
Task 2.... please validate
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am
Re: Task 2.... please validate
Hello!
This is a good essay. you look t both sides in a reasonable way, without jumping to scare stories about the imminent death of all teenagers, as many candidates do.
I think that the second main paragraph could be a bit more developed. We can see that it is shorter than the first (and the conclusion!) and some examples would be nice.
Grammar is good, with no errors that confuse the reader. Vocabulary is very good with some high level items used correctly and appropriately.
Well done!
David
This is a good essay. you look t both sides in a reasonable way, without jumping to scare stories about the imminent death of all teenagers, as many candidates do.
I think that the second main paragraph could be a bit more developed. We can see that it is shorter than the first (and the conclusion!) and some examples would be nice.
Grammar is good, with no errors that confuse the reader. Vocabulary is very good with some high level items used correctly and appropriately.
Well done!
David
Re: Task 2.... please validate
David.IELTS.Examiner wrote:Hello!
This is a good essay. you look t both sides in a reasonable way, without jumping to scare stories about the imminent death of all teenagers, as many candidates do.
I think that the second main paragraph could be a bit more developed. We can see that it is shorter than the first (and the conclusion!) and some examples would be nice.
Grammar is good, with no errors that confuse the reader. Vocabulary is very good with some high level items used correctly and appropriately.
Well done!
David
hey Mr David
why you have stopped responding to my essays aaaa ??????????
