Writing task 1... please assess.. Thanks in advance

[hemantsharma90]

Last week you were on a flight to London. Unfortunately, when you left the place you left a bag. You did not remember about the bag until you got to your hotel.

Write a letter to the airline. Explain what has happened, describe the bag and its contents and say what you would like them to do about it.

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing in connect with a bag which I left on your plane.

Last week on Monday 5th November, I was travelling on flight number AR139 from London to Delhi. My seat number was E5. The flight delayed by 4 hours due to dense fog and by the time it landed, I was extremely tired. As a result, when I got home, I remembered that I have forgotten to collect my bag which was under my seat.

My bag is small and made of black leather. Inside the bag there is a pen, a book I was reading, some car keys and a dairy which I carry everywhere.

I would request you to please check with your ‘Lost and Found property’ department and see if they have my bag. Please inform me as soon as possible as this bag is quite important to me.

You can contact me on my mobile number which is XXXXXXXXX and you can write me at
hemant@live.com.

Thank you in advance for your help and I look forward to hear from you soon.

Yours faithfully,
Hemant

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Overall, a good letter. I think that you could have developed the point where you describe the bag - let's be honest, small, black, leather won't distinguish it from the countless other bags like that! You could also have developed the point about the contents - which book, for instance?

On the other hand, flight number and seat number are essential pieces of information that other candidates often miss out.

Grammar and vocabulary are good, with only one mistake that changes meaning - dairy!

All the best,
David