Task 2 (Academic)

[reajulislamremon]

Please check my writing task 02 and give me a possible band.

Increase the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s world traffic and pollution problems have been increased dramatically. There are many factors are responsible for rising traffic and pollution problems. It is disagree that climbing the price of petrol is the best way to reduce growing traffic and pollution problems. Analyzing both it is clear that increasing public awareness and development of public transport system are another ways to decrease this discussion problems.
As long as public awareness is not increased problems due to excess traffic and pollution will not be removed properly from the world. For example, both environment and people are affected because of growing traffic. If we can develop public consciousness through mass media and organizing seminar in school, colleges and universities, we will be able to fall problems due to growing traffic and pollution. Thus, makes it clear why public consciousness is necessary.
Secondly, development of public transports is one of the vital ways to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. For instance, if government modernizes their public transport people will not use private car. As a result, we will be able to control excess traffic. Therefore, two types of vehicles are plying in the road among them one is public transport and other is private transport. If we omit using private transport and starting to use modernize public transport, we will be able to reduce growing traffic. Because of this it is easy to say why public transport should be developed.
In summary, besides increase the price of petrol both public awareness and public transports are necessary to remove growing traffic problem. So it is transparent that only increase the price of petrol can not remove growing vehicle and pollution problems fully.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

I am always wary of an essay that relies on the 'raise public awareness' solution. I've lived in several cities that have traffic issues and - to be totally honest - if you live in those cities and have NOT noticed the problem, you must have some kind of intelligence issue!

Mass media, presentations at school - it's all been done and failed.

Beijing has a very dense and modern public transport system and yet the traffic jams still exist. Therefore, the 'better public transport' argument doesn't seem that strong to me either.

You haven't examined the argument about increasing the price of petrol.

Overall, grammar and vocabulary are reasonable. There's a lot of 'will' in the essay. I'm not convinced that things are so certain. Modals such as might, may and could would be much more appropriate.

All the best,
David

[Flick]

Increase the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s world, traffic and pollution problems have increased dramatically. There are many factors responsible for the rising traffic and pollution problems. It is disagreed that raising the price of petrol is the best way to reduce growing traffic and pollution problems. Analyzing both sides of the argument, it is clear that increasing public awareness and development of a public transport system are more effective ways to solve these problems.

As long as public awareness is not increased, problems due to excess traffic and pollution will not be addressed. For example, both the environment and people are affected because of growing traffic. If we can develop public consciousness through mass media and education at schools, colleges and universities, we will be able to fix the problems caused by growing traffic and pollution. This makes it clear why public consciousness is necessary.

Secondly, the development of public transport is one of the vital ways to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. For instance, if the government modernizes their public transport, people will be less likely to use a private car. As a result, we will be able to control excess traffic. Therefore, two types of vehicles would be using the roads; public and private transport. If we decrease the use of private transport and start to use public transport, we will be able to reduce growing traffic. Because of this, it is easy to see why public transport should be developed.

In summary, besides raising the price of petrol, both public awareness and public transportation are necessary to reduce growing traffic problem. So it is clear that only increasing the price of petrol will not remove growing vehicle and pollution problems fully.