kindly assess my Wr1ting Task 1

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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meliscan
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:02 am

kindly assess my Wr1ting Task 1

Post by meliscan »

Hello all, here's my essay. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you.


The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005.

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The two graphs give information about the value of fuel and other selected exports in year 2000 to 2005. As shown, it is clear that the trend varies with these three products; fuel, food and manufactured goods.

In total value of fuel exported in year 2000, there was $300000 million sent overseas. However, it slowly declined from year 2001 and dropped further the following year to $250,000 million. Even so, it recovered and gradually increased to $350,000 by year 2003 and reached to 425,000 in 2005.

On the other hand, the value selected exports can be noted that food is not as popular as the other two. the figure shows that it is less than a $100,000 million from 2000 to 2005. It never go up like the rest, just remained monotonous. Whilst, manufactured goods started at approximately $180,000 in year 2000 then slightly inclined the next year and downward the succeeding year. Nonetheless, recovered eventually in 2005. As for fuel it produced $450,000 million in the beginning but went downhill and leveled at $200,000 million in 2005.
David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
IELTS Examiner
Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: kindly assess my Wr1ting Task 1

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

I'll assume that the second diagram is irrelevant. The information in it contradicts that in the first one.

There's no overview/summary, so the report loses marks for that. The descriptions are reasonable, but lacking in some details.

Vocabulary and grammar are also reasonable, despite some obvious errors, e.g. monotonous, popular, inclined, value selected exports.

Not good, but easily improved.

All the best,
David
meliscan
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2016 2:02 am

Re: kindly assess my Wr1ting Task 1

Post by meliscan »

Thank you for the feedback. I need to practice more. I will take the next month, hopefully I can improve my writing by then.
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