Some people think that young people should follow the tradition of the society. Others think that young people should be free to behave as an individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether youth should follow traditions or have liberty and choose how they want to live. I believe that by following traditions, we create better human beings and better communities.
On the one hand, I support those who believe that youths should be brought by traditions because there are numerous traditions which help to ensure a better society. Firstly, many traditions demand that we should respect old people and treat them properly. For example, grandparents used to live with their children, and by doing so, they never feel the loneliness or being neglected. Secondly, people from past generations used to evaluate the importance of working hard. They used to encourage their children to start work at an early age and keep pushing them to work hard. Finally, traditionally people used to know their neighbours more closely which lead to more intimate community.
On the other hand, there are others who argue that young generations do not have to follow traditions and they can choose a different way. They believe that many traditions are out-of-date. For example, old generations, due to their lack of understanding of what are the women capable of, women used to stay at home and not allowed to have a career. Also, in many countries, young girls used to be forced to get married at an early age when they are still children.
To conclude, after analysing both sides of the argument, I believe that old people have gain experience about life and pass it to us throw traditions, so it is better to use it in raising our children.
Please can you check my W T2
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David.IELTS.Examiner
- IELTS Examiner
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Re: Please can you check my W T2
Hello!
Overall, quite good, but there are a couple of points that need to be improved.
First, people can feel lonely even when surrounded by others. Indeed, children may feel lonely with their grandparents because they have little or no shared interests.
Second, you don't say why you have decided that one argument is worthier than another. In other words, it is unclear how you came to your conclusion after 'analysing both sides of the argument'.
Grammar is good, but there is a limited range of structures. This is common in essays where the writer doesn't truly analyse the various scenarios and possibilities.
All the best,
David
Overall, quite good, but there are a couple of points that need to be improved.
First, people can feel lonely even when surrounded by others. Indeed, children may feel lonely with their grandparents because they have little or no shared interests.
Second, you don't say why you have decided that one argument is worthier than another. In other words, it is unclear how you came to your conclusion after 'analysing both sides of the argument'.
Grammar is good, but there is a limited range of structures. This is common in essays where the writer doesn't truly analyse the various scenarios and possibilities.
All the best,
David
Re: Please can you check my W T2
insaf wrote:Some people think that young people should follow the tradition of the society. Others think that young people should be free to behave as an individual. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People have different views about whether youth should follow traditions or have the freedom to choose how they want to live. I believe that by following traditions, we create better human beings and better communities.
On the one hand, I support those who believe that youths should be raised with traditions because there are numerous traditions which help to ensure a better society. Firstly, many traditions demand that we should respect our elders and treat them properly. For example, grandparents used to live with their children, and by doing so, they never felt loneliness or neglect. Secondly, people from past generations used to emphasise the importance of working hard. They used to encourage their children to start work at an early age and kept encouraging them to work hard. Finally, traditionally people used to know their neighbours more closely which lead to a more intimate community.
On the other hand, there are others who argue that younger generations do not have to follow traditions and they can choose a different way. They believe that many traditions are out-of-date. For example, older generations, due to their lack of understanding of what women are capable of, still expect them to stay at home and not have a career. Also, in many countries, young girls used to be forced to get married at an early age when they were still children.
To conclude, after analysing both sides of the argument, I believe that old people have gained experience about life and pass it to us through traditions, so it is better to use it in raising our children.