please check my Wr task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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insaf
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Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:07 pm

please check my Wr task 2

Post by insaf »

Many people believe that the world’s most urgent problems can only be solved by international collaboration. Do you agree or disagree?





It is true that current societies face many problems. Many are with the view that these obstacles can not be fixed unless an international cooperation is put into place. I totally agree with this view.


It is almost impossible to isolate any nation from what happening in the world. Take terrorism as an example, although usually, it starts in one country but its disastrous actions affect the whole world. ISIS, for instance, starts its actions in Iraq and Syria but still able to do many operations in different countries thousands of miles away from these countries. In addition, it still able to reach young generations by different ways and attract them to join their group. International cooperation, such as NATO, is the best way to tackle this group and make the whole world safer to live in.



There are several problems that have their effects all over the world which demand international cooperation. Global warming and depletion of natural resources must have worldwide cooperation to solve or at least mitigate these urgent issues. Without such cooperation, these threats will have disastrous consequences in all countries. Whatever a country is doing to reduce the effect of these problems will not be successful unless all nations start to work together.



To conclude, the world we live has many urgent problems and without an international interference, these problems may destroy our planet. It is there for hopefully all countries will realise the need to collaborate together to make Earth a better place for many coming generations.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: please check my Wr task 2

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

This is a good essay. Organisation is very clear. Points are clear. There are relatively few grammatical errors, but the range of structures is limited. Vocabulary is good.

A couple of suggestions, apart from the grammar ...

1. Point out that some problems might be solved by countries independently
2. point out the problems with achieving international co-operation

All the best,
David
insaf
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2016 10:07 pm

Re: please check my Wr task 2

Post by insaf »

Thanks, MR David for your comment I really appreciate it.
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Flick
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Re: please check my Wr task 2

Post by Flick »

insaf wrote:Many people believe that the world’s most urgent problems can only be solved by international collaboration. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that current societies face many problems. Many people are of the view that these obstacles can not be fixed unless international cooperation is put into place. I totally agree with this opinion.


It is almost impossible to isolate any nation from what happening in the world. Take terrorism as an example. Although it usually starts in one country, its disastrous actions affect the whole world. ISIS, for instance, started its actions in Iraq and Syria, but also carry out operations in different countries thousands of miles away from these countries. In addition, it reaches out to young generations in different ways to attract them to join their group. International cooperation, such as NATO, is the best way to tackle this group and make the whole world safer to live in.

There are several problems that are felt all over the world which demand international cooperation. Global warming and the depletion of natural resources must have worldwide cooperation to solve or at least mitigate. Without such cooperation, these threats will have disastrous consequences in all countries. Whatever a country is doing to reduce the effect of these problems will not be successful unless all nations start to work together.

To conclude, the world we live in has many urgent problems, and without international interference, these problems may destroy our planet. Hopefully, all countries will realise the need to collaborate to make Earth a better place for future generations.
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