please review my GT task 2- Appreciate

[DJvj]

Nowadays, the mass media including TV, radio and newspaper have become the essential part of our lives. What is your opinion?

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Mass media is playing a vital role in an individual's life. People are able to stay connect with others across geographical boundaries through various mediums. While some people believe that media is significant in our daily lives but there are few opponents to this idea. Below essay will provide both the viewpoint before giving a reasoned conclusion.

There are several reasons how mass media is helping individuals. Firstly, it assists in providing the latest ground update with live images on infotainment happening across the globe. Thus, it increases the knowledge level on an individual. Secondly, People can listen to podcasts or radios while travelling which could serve as a stress buster. For instance, People who lives in metro cities like Bangalore uses more Radio stations while travelling to know about the traffic situations. Lastly, People who do not have time to read can leverage on the e-version of the newspapers to know about various news.

On the other side of the argument, this can offer few challenges too. Firstly, nowadays mass media is politically biased. They could exhibit whatever they feel it for showing their support and mislead them. For instance, In India, demonetization is happening and lot of news channel are supporting and against of this reform and politicizing it to mislead. Secondly, They intrude into other’s privacy to increase the TRP ratings . Lastly, media shows more advertisement to increase their revenue.

To conclude, I strongly believe that mass media helps in increasing the knowledge and the awareness among people. It also keeps them updated with the current affairs happening globally.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!

Although I totally agree with the points in the second main paragraph, I'm not sure if they are really relevant to the question, which includes the key word 'essential'. You may have a good point here, but it needs clarification.

In the first main paragraph, you hit on a very interesting word, but then fail to go deeper - infotainment. To what extent is information and/or entertainment necessary?

There are lots of basic grammatical errors, e.g. People who lives, are supporting and against, more advertisement, stay connect.

There are a few vocabulary mistakes, e.g. ground update, leverage. 'TRP' should be explained (or written in full).

Overall, not bad, but could easily be improved.

All the best,
David

[Miaacoby]

Nowadays, the mass media including TV, radio and newspaper have become the essential part of our lives. What is your opinion?

********

Mass media is playing a vital role in an individual's life. People are able to stay connected with others across geographical boundaries through various mediums. While some people believe that media is significant in our daily lives but there are few opponents to this idea. Below essay will provide both the viewpoint before giving a reasoned conclusion.


Mass media is playing a vital role in our life. Mass media helps people to stay connected with others across geographical boundaries through different medium.Some people believe that this mass media is an essential part of our today's life while some believe that we can still live without it. Below essay will analyze both views before drawing a reasoned conclusion.

There are several reasons how mass media is helping individuals. Firstly, it assists in providing the latest ground update with live images on infotainment happening across the globe. Thus, it increases the knowledge level on an individual. Secondly, People can listen to podcasts or radios while travelling which could serve as a stress buster. For instance, People who lives in metro cities like Bangalore uses more Radio stations while travelling to know about the traffic situations. Lastly, People who do not have time to read can leverage on the e-version of the newspapers to know about various news.

It is difficult to imagine our routine life without mass media. Our routine life starting from food to education depends on information provided by media. For example, we get all essential information about pros and cons of food from mass media. Similarly, our almost all educational resources depend on the continuous information provided by mass media. Thus, it is difficult to imagine our today's daily life happening in absence of mass media.

On the other side of the argument, this can offer few challenges too. Firstly, nowadays mass media is politically biased. They could exhibit whatever they feel it for showing their support and mislead them. For instance, In India, demonetization is happening and lot of news channel are supporting and against of this reform and politicizing it to mislead. Secondly, They intrude into other’s privacy to increase the TRP ratings . Lastly, media shows more advertisement to increase their revenue.


To the other side of the camp, our daily life will not be disturbed in absence of mass media. An argument that support this side is the pre-media time. In addition to this, time wasted on mass media is attributed as an essential aspect. For example, in absence of mass media, students will have more time to focus on their education. Similarly, professionals would not be wasting time on reading politics which they have no concern. Thus, it can be seen that our life is possible without mass media.


Some people favor presence of mas media in our life as positive contribution while some grant it as negative. After analyzing impact of mass media on our daily life, it can be seen that mass media is an essential part of our daily life. Thus it concluded that out daily life can not be imagined in absence of mass media.

To conclude, I strongly believe that mass media helps in increasing the knowledge and the awareness among people. It also keeps them updated with the current affairs happening globally.

[DJvj]

Thanks for the feedback.

[Flick]

Nowadays, the mass media including TV, radio and newspaper have become the essential part of our lives. What is your opinion?

********

Mass media plays a vital role in an individual's life. People are able to stay connected with others across geographical boundaries through various mediums. While some people believe that media is significant in our daily lives, there are a few opponents to this idea. This essay will review both viewpoints before giving a reasoned conclusion.

There are several ways mass media can help individuals. Firstly, it assists in providing the latest news with live images from across the globe. Thus, it increases the knowledge of an individual. Secondly, people can listen to podcasts or the radio while travelling, which could serve as a stress buster. For instance, people who live in cities like Bangalore listen to the radio while travelling to learn about traffic situations. Lastly, people who do not have time to read can access the e-version of newspapers to find out about various news stories.

On the other side of the argument, the prevalence of mass media can offer a few challenges, too. Firstly, nowadays mass media is politically biased. They could exhibit whatever they feel it for showing their support and mislead them.(<--Reword to: "Facts can be twisted or totally ignored to give the news a definite bias.") For instance, in India, demonetization is happening and a lot of news channels both support and oppose this reform, so they are politicizing it to mislead their readers and viewers. Secondly, they intrude into other’s privacy to increase the TRP(<--What is TRP? You need to define acronyms before using them.) ratings. Lastly, the media shows many advertisements to increase their revenue.

To conclude, I strongly believe that mass media helps in increasing the knowledge and awareness among people. It also keeps them updated with the current affairs happening globally.