kindly review my gt task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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DJvj
Posts: 148
Joined: Fri Sep 11, 2015 9:06 am

kindly review my gt task 2

Post by DJvj »

Topic:-
Some people believe that good leaders are born, whereas others the opinion that the leadership qualities could be obtained during the life.who represent the good leader qualities indeed?
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Leadership plays an integral role in our society. Be it a country or an organization, we need good and effective leaders who can drive the system forward. While some people think that there are born leaders who possesses those traits, but there are few opponents to this idea. Below essay will provide a viewpoint of both the arguments with a reasoned conclusion.

There are several attributes exhibited by a born leader. Firstly, Leaders of this category are visionary and have a self-belief.For instance, In India, Mahatma gandhi who is known as a father of nation helped the country to get the freedom by following the path of non-violence. Secondly, being a born leader they believe in their instinct. Lastly , They live for society rather than for individuals.

On the other side of the argument, leadership can be acquired through experience as well. Firstly, Leaders learn through their past experiences and ensure that their followers do not commit the same mistake. For instance, In India , MS Dhoni is a considered to be a great cricketer and a great leader who has aspired many young cricketers.Seondly, leadership demands trust and transparency among the people which gives others a sense of togetherness. Lastly, a true leader should be an effective communicator and should reach to larger community.

To conclude, I strongly believe that a leader should set examples for others to follow by considering them as their role model. This will help others and encourage them to follow the path by leveraging their experiences.
David.IELTS.Examiner
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Re: kindly review my gt task 2

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello!

Overall, I think that this essay is reasonably good.

I think that using Gandhi is a good example, but this paragraph could have been more developed, e.g. his self-belief and instincts.

The example of MS Dhoni is also good, but there is no example of how he inspired, created trust and transparency, or was an effective communicator.

In fact, what you write in the conclusion could easily be developed using the two examples you have given.

This essay scores well for vocabulary and grammar. It is clear, despite the lack of examples, and vocabulary is used correctly, though generally. There is a good (not great!) range of grammatical structures and good accuracy.

Developing the examples would really make this a very good essay.

All the best,
David
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Flick
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Re: kindly review my gt task 2

Post by Flick »

DJvj wrote:Topic:-
Some people believe that good leaders are born, whereas others the opinion that the leadership qualities could be obtained during the life.who represent the good leader qualities indeed?
***************************
Leadership plays an integral role in our society. Be it a country or an organization, we need good and effective leaders who can drive the system forward. While some people think that there are born leaders who possess those traits, there are a few opponents to this idea. This essay will provide a viewpoint of both arguments with a reasoned conclusion.

There are several attributes exhibited by a born leader. Firstly, leaders of this category are visionary and have self-belief. For instance, in India, Mahatma Gandhi is known as the father of the nation because he helped the country to gain its freedom by following the path of non-violence. Secondly, being a born leader they believe in their instinct. Lastly, they live for society rather than for individuals.

On the other side of the argument, leadership can be acquired through experience as well. Firstly, leaders learn from past experiences and ensure that their followers do not commit the same mistake. For instance, in India, MS Dhoni is considered to be a great cricketer and a great leader who has inspired many young cricketers. Secondly, leadership demands trust and transparency among the people, which gives others a sense of togetherness. Lastly, a true leader should be an effective communicator and should reach out to the wider community.

To conclude, I strongly believe that a leader should set examples for others to follow by considering them as their role model. This will help others and encourage them to follow in their footsteps by leveraging their experiences.
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