please check my task 1 letter

[Chi]

Your services are excellent and that is why I always choose your hotel every time when I am in Beijing

Allen,

May I answer your question instead. You are right to use present tense if you still think the hotel provides good service, which does seem to be so at this stage. I suggest you change to "Your service had been excellent, and that is why I always chose to stay at your hotel whenever I come to Beijing". You are complaining about their service, and you want them to feel like if they don't response to the issue properly, your view of their hotel will change and they will lose a regular customer. That's why past tense makes a stronger message in this situation.

The temperature of that day was 36 degree, which is a quite unusual in this season.

This sounds a bit strange. How about we change it to: "It was 36 Celsius on that day, which was quite unusual in this season." You need to use past tense here, because you talk about what already happened.

so, I tried to turn on the air conditioner right after I entered the room but it did not work at all. I called for your room services immediately, but I was told that the air conditioner was not supposed to work until June.

Please remove "so", it is not necessary. Besides, you need to capitalize the letter "s" if you start your sentence with "so". Also, remove "for" after "called".

Just few comments, hope they are helpful. Just note that there are still some awkward sentences, I just couldn't go through your whole letter.

Good luck, Allen.

[allen_zhang]

Hi Chi
Highly apperciate your kind review and comments.
You have made things extremely clear and I learned a lot from you!

BR!
Allen

[andytruong1202]

hi Allen,

1. When you mention that I need to use past tense. I think you are talking about my sentence below:

Your services are excellent and that is why I always choose your hotel every time when I am in Beijing

I used present tense because I believe these things are still true at present. Should I use past tense?

Are you still happy with the service after you had such a bad experience? If not, then you can't use the present tense.

2. I used "cool me down". I am not sure if it is a proper phrase.

Yeah, this is fine.

3. Regarding the "hotel name", since I am writing to the manager of this hotel, I don't think I need to write the name of the hotel. what you think?

If you're the manager, would you think this letter maybe meant for another hotel ?

4. I think I already mentioned the time I checked in and out.

You've just mentioned the date, not the time. And you didn't mention your room number either. Would the manager believe that you're actually their customer or just some jokers?

Cheers,
Andy

[allen_zhang]

Hi Andy,
Many thanks for you kind help.

Regarding the "hotel name" issue, I still think that I do not need to mention about the hotel name.

As to the "time" and "room number" issue, my understanding is that I was just making a general complaint and giving some suggestions without asking any compensation. So, the manager need not to check the details. That is why I did not give the exact "time" and "room number". In other cases like asking for compensation or claiming missing belongings, I would give more details, so that the manager can verify them.

BR!
Allen

[andytruong1202]

Hi Allen,

It's all up to your choice but the more details you could give, the better your letter/essay would be. That's just my personal opinion.