writing task 1 (graph)/ pls review

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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Quidam
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Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2016 4:05 pm

writing task 1 (graph)/ pls review

Post by Quidam »

Graph 8.gif
Graph 8.gif (7.06 KiB) Viewed 1745 times
The graph shows rates of smoking for men and women in Someland over the course of 40 years.

The first trend, rates of smoking men, started at 600 per 1,000 men in 1960 and experienced an interrupted decrease over the time in question. After a modest decrease in the first 10 years, by 50, the trend accelerated and reached 400 in 1985. However, after another slight decrease, only 25 by 1990, the number of smoking men decreased sharply again to 300 in 1995 and 250 in 2000.

The second trend, rates of smoking women, which started at 100 per 1,000 women in 1960 is negatively correlated. The trend rose sharply in the first 5 years to reach just shy of 200. However, we can see the trend went unchangeably before it picked again to reach just over 300 in 1975. Since then the number of women smoking in Someland decreased slightly over the next 15 years, followed by a farther, more significant decrease to reach 200 in 2000, just 50 less than rates for men.

Pls review my writing task 1
many thanks
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