new question and pls help!!Task 2

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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rairaichan0323
Posts: 196
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:03 am

new question and pls help!!Task 2

Post by rairaichan0323 »

Some people believe that travelling alone really benefits in learning a country's culture and experience, while others believe it is better to travel with someone you know.

Discuss both these views and share your opinion.

In this day and age, it seems that there is a significant increase in global tourism. Some people argue that solo travel is good at learning the host country’s culture and enrich your experience while many others believe that travelling with partners is better. These points of view will be discussed before arriving a satisfactory outcome.

On the one hand, some people are in this position that travelling alone will be able to learn the customs and gain more experiences. As it enables you to absorb your environment and notice the people around you. For instance, you will discover how the local residents talk, dress and even walk. It is argued that you can be easier to understand the local culture and obtain multi-experienced by your observation. Thus, it is clear that why some people gravitate towards this point of view.

On the other hand, many argue that it is better to travel with friends as relatively lower the cost of travelling. To illustrate, your friends will share the cost of the hotel and food fees and there may have discounts to groups for certain activities and accommodation. Thus, you can enjoy the journey with your friends and save money. After analyzing this point of view, it is certainly true that why many support this claim.

In conclusion, the issue of travelling alone is better to understand the local culture and experience or it is good to travel with friends is supported and refuted by many. However, after analyzing these points of view, I personally believe that I love to do sightseeing with my friend since I can share all my experiences with my trusty friends.
andytruong1202
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2014 12:06 pm

Re: new question and pls help!!Task 2

Post by andytruong1202 »

rairaichan0323 wrote:Some people believe that travelling alone really benefits in learning a country's culture and experience, while others believe it is better to travel with someone you know.

Discuss both these views and share your opinion.

In this day and age, it seems that there is a significant increase in global tourism. While some people argue that solo travel is good in learning the host country’s culture and enriching your experience, many others believe that travelling with partners is better. These points of view will be discussed before a satisfactory outcome/conclusion is drawn. (clear introduction)

On the one hand, some people are in the/a position that travelling alone will enable ones to learn different customs and gain more experience. As it enables you (who are you?) to absorb your environment and notice the people around you. For instance, you will discover how the local residents talk, dress and even walk. It is argued that you can be easier to understand the local culture and obtain a lot of experience by your observation. Thus, it is clear that why some people gravitate towards this point of view.

Should talk about people in general and be objective.

On the other hand, many argue that it is better to travel with friends to lower the cost of travelling. To illustrate, your friends will share the cost of the hotel and food and in some hotels, there maybe a discount for agroup or for certain activities and accommodation. Thus, you can enjoy the journey with your friends and save money. After analyzing this point of view, it is certainly true that why many support this claim.

(clear but simple paragraph; try to add a complex sentence. The idea is not strongly supported so try to add one more idea. )

In conclusion, the issue of (are there any problems of travelling alone?)travelling alone is better to understand the local culture and experience. It is also good to travel with friends. (before making a complex sentence, try to write two separated simple sentences first, and then combine them. ). However, after analyzing these points of view, I personally believe that (unnecessary phrase. ) I love to do sightseeing with my friend since I can share all my experiences with my trusty friends (did you make up your mind after analysing these views, or it's there already in your mind?).
(I'd say: After analysing these points of view, I was convinced that it's best to travel with friends as I can go sightseeing and enjoy the experience with my friends. )
(However, don't introduce new ideas in the conclusion. )
The ideas are clear; however, sentences are quite simple, and quite a few grammar mistakes. Would be at 6+ - 6.5.
rairaichan0323
Posts: 196
Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:03 am

Re: new question and pls help!!Task 2

Post by rairaichan0323 »

Dear andytruong1202 ,

thank you very much for ur advice !! thanks a lot
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