The second trial - intelligent person you know

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Success7
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:22 am

The second trial - intelligent person you know

Post by Success7 »

Last one was on the basis of written and memorized script, in turn that was not my own recording so to say.
This time, as soon as I met a sudden Part2 question, I gave myself a minute, and recorded my answer straigh away.
The question was;

Describe a (very) intelligent person you know.
You should say:
who this person is
when and where you (first) met them (him or her)
what kind of person he or she is *
and explain why you think this person is intelligent.

I know this record is full of hasitating, repeating the same expressions, gramatical errors and so forth, which is close to the real situation in front of examiner.
However, I won't regard myself ashamed because your comments would help me improve it. :lol:

Thank you in advance for your ANY comments on this.

http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/download/file.php?id=84
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lmoore
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Re: The second trial - intelligent person you know

Post by lmoore »

Thank you for sharing your answer to this set of questions!

I'd like to start by saying that, overall, your speech was quite good. I was able to understand your pronunciation much of the time, and you chose specific vocabulary instead of general words. In particular, you made good choices when you said, "generous," "humorous," "physical and mental soundness," and "continuously."

Here are some areas on which you can work to improve:

1.) As you mentioned in your initial post, you did repeat some words. One I particularly noticed was "social gathering." I believe I heard you say "seminar" one time, but I wasn't too sure because of the pronunciation. This is a good synonym. You can also try "meeting," "class," or "get-together," if it is an informal occasion.

2.) You had some difficulty finding the right grammatical structure/vocabulary expression for some common ideas. For example, you said, "we face in our ordinary days." I believe a better alternative would be, "we face in our everyday lives." Another example was when you were speaking about the man being invited to television and radio programs to talk about relationships between family members. You said, "invited to. . .about that kind of matters." You could have said, "He is often invited to radio and television programs to discuss THESE KINDS of MATTERS." I also heard, "improve their relationship between family members." I think you meant, "improve relationships between family members." Finally, you mentioned a "at a seminar room." When we are discussing places within a building, we use the preposition "in." So this would be "in a seminar room."

3.) The lead-in to your speech was very confusing for me for the first few seconds. I thought you were discussing something completely different than the topic at hand, the most intelligent person you know. You might, instead, try to start by stating who the person is and then how you met him.

Best wishes on your practicing!
Success7
Posts: 16
Joined: Sat Mar 01, 2014 7:22 am

Re: The second trial - intelligent person you know

Post by Success7 »

Great corrections! Thank you so much. I will keep those in mind. :)
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