Hello!
The two main paragraphs just introduce the issues. You need more development, along with possible remedies/solutions.
Vocabulary and grammar are clearly limited in terms of range, but accuracy is reasonable.
Basically, just too short and simple.
David
Search found 1371 matches
- Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:19 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please advise my writing task 2 Thank you so much:)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 1638
- Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:16 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Task 2 Kindly evaluate.
- Replies: 2
- Views: 1346
Re: Task 2 Kindly evaluate.
Hello!
This is a good essay. Points are clear and there is good development, particularly in the second main paragraph. Vocabulary and grammar are good, both in terms of range and accuracy.
All the best,
David
This is a good essay. Points are clear and there is good development, particularly in the second main paragraph. Vocabulary and grammar are good, both in terms of range and accuracy.
All the best,
David
- Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:14 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please check my writing Task 2
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1433
Re: Please check my writing Task 2
Hello! Some strange vocabulary here - eyes-span, grasping power??? You claim that the criticisms of TV are baseless, yet totally fail to refute them. Your second paragraph seems to assume that everyone only watches TV for documentaries and educational programmes, which is demonstrably untrue. Vocabu...
- Thu Jun 01, 2017 11:09 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please help analyse T2. Thanks in advanced!
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1828
Re: Please help analyse T2. Thanks in advanced!
Hello! Overall, quite a good essay. Ideas are clear and valid, but could be more developed. For example, you mention poor governance in some countries. If charities take over the responsibilities, does that mean the government can simply continue to be bad at its job? Same thing with unemployment - ...
- Wed May 31, 2017 2:37 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Could you please asses my Essay
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2430
Re: Could you please asses my Essay
Much better! (But good luck writing such a long essay in 40 minutes!)
D
D
- Mon May 29, 2017 7:39 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please advice may exam next week
- Replies: 2
- Views: 1811
Re: Please advice may exam next week
Hello!
The basic ideas are good, but not expressed very well. There are many grammar mistakes which can make the essay hard to understand. This is often because the sentences are too long. There are also some errors with vocabulary, e.g. academia and modal schools.
All the best,
David
The basic ideas are good, but not expressed very well. There are many grammar mistakes which can make the essay hard to understand. This is often because the sentences are too long. There are also some errors with vocabulary, e.g. academia and modal schools.
All the best,
David
- Mon May 29, 2017 7:34 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please assess my writing
- Replies: 2
- Views: 1405
Re: Please assess my writing
Hello! Introduction - Not exactly. Animals release CO2. The introduction is longer than the main paragraphs. First main paragraph - defaulters? Second main paragraph - The policy of planting 2 tress would increase forest areas, but reduce land use for other purposes. With a rising population, this i...
- Mon May 29, 2017 5:51 am
- Forum: IELTS related discussion
- Topic: Writing T/F/NG for True/False/Not Given
- Replies: 2
- Views: 8335
Re: Writing T/F/NG for True/False/Not Given
It won't help - T/F/NG is totally acceptable.
D
D
- Sat May 27, 2017 7:56 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Could you please asses my Essay
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2430
Re: Could you please asses my Essay
Hello! Paragraphing is unclear near the beginning. I'm not sure which Asian students you are referring to. Besides, most teachers would hardly regard "a certain accent" as the primary issue for most students. The conclusion needs to be rewritten (restricted ... just a basis?). However, ove...
- Sat May 27, 2017 7:47 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please evaluate my task 2, my 4 try on 03/06
- Replies: 2
- Views: 1816
Re: Please evaluate my task 2, my 4 try on 03/06
Hello! The example of Egypt does not mean other countries use the same system. The example of Japan is unclear, particularly the use of 'depends on'. There are a lot of grammatical errors and this may sometimes contribute to a lack of clarity (see above). Some sentences are too long (second main par...
- Sat May 27, 2017 7:41 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: kindly review my T2 essay thank you
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1246
Re: kindly review my T2 essay thank you
Hello!
Fiercely debated? Really?
Your points are good. There is only a limited range of grammar but accuracy is good. Vocabulary is also good, with some topic-specific items.
Overall, not bad at all!
David
Fiercely debated? Really?
Your points are good. There is only a limited range of grammar but accuracy is good. Vocabulary is also good, with some topic-specific items.
Overall, not bad at all!
David
- Sat May 27, 2017 7:38 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: please evaluate my essay
- Replies: 2
- Views: 4314
Re: please evaluate my essay
Hello! The point in the first main paragraph is good, but the second main paragraph is simply untrue. India runs mainly on fossil fuels and alternative energy sources are not always cheaper. Grammatical range is limited and there are quite a lot of basic errors. Vocabulary is good with some topic-sp...
- Tue May 23, 2017 6:36 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Task 2 IELTS : Please evaluate
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1575
Re: Task 2 IELTS : Please evaluate
Hello! Overall, the main problem is one of over-generalisation. "almost all families are leading an isolated life" Rubbish! Work? Studies? The internet? The idea that all kids play computer games 24/7 and are totally addicted has been debunked. In fact, there is plenty of evidence to sugge...
- Tue May 23, 2017 6:21 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Task 2- discussion- change is always a good thing
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1504
Re: Task 2- discussion- change is always a good thing
Hello! This is a very good essay. Arguments are clear and well-developed. The range of grammar and vocabulary is very good. There are some high level vocab items, e.g. loyalty, stable working environment, acquire. There are some grammatical errors, but these do not affect meaning and are usually ass...
- Tue May 23, 2017 6:17 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please evaluate my essay
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1499
Re: Please evaluate my essay
Hello! Overall, a good essay. Points are clear and developed. However, I think that you could have also looked at NGOs and international organisations (e.g. UN, Arab League). The range of grammar is good, with some nice use of modals. However, there are some mistakes, though these do not affect mean...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:33 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: please evaluate my essay
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1579
Re: please evaluate my essay
Hello! The introduction is longer than the second main paragraph. The second main paragraph totally contradicts the first! It's like two totally different people wrote them. This is the result of poor language (grammar and vocabulary). The conclusion is totally unclear. If it depends on wealth and p...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:28 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Kindly can you evaluate and rate my essay task 2
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1603
Re: Kindly can you evaluate and rate my essay task 2
Hello! The introduction is much too long. You do not really write anything about the possible problems of relying too much on technology. The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including many basic ones, e.g. scientist have, scientist are. Vocabulary is not well used and there are many exam...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:23 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please assess my writing- IELTS ACADEMIC
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1371
Re: Please assess my writing- IELTS ACADEMIC
Hello! You have described the data, but the organisation is a bit of a mess. The summary only mentions the highest number of passengers, not the overall trend. The details are not described from left to right, in a logical order. Grammar and vocabulary are poor with numerous errors, including many b...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:20 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please assess this essay
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1373
Re: Please assess this essay
Hello! The first main paragraph simply goes in a circle without explaining why punishment works. The second main paragraph does not flow logically either. The conclusion introduces a new idea that should be developed in a main paragraph. Overall, this is weak essay. The points do not adequately resp...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:15 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: I would be very grateful if someone could give me some feedback
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1767
Re: I would be very grateful if someone could give me some feedback
Hello! No, the arguments have to be based on reality, otherwise you could just write ridiculous things like "I think that hosting a sports event is a good thing for a country because it helps the cats to ride on motorbikes whilst eating Russian food". You can easily find the public band de...
- Sat May 20, 2017 4:09 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: writing task 2:What are the advantages and disadvantages of using robots in our life?
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2388
Re: writing task 2:What are the advantages and disadvantages of using robots in our life?
Hello!
Just take a walk around some hotels and restaurants in Vietnam. How many have robots?
David
Just take a walk around some hotels and restaurants in Vietnam. How many have robots?
David
- Wed May 17, 2017 5:20 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Kindly evaluate this essay task 2
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1261
Re: Kindly evaluate this essay task 2
Hello! The introduction and the second main paragraph are the same length. The points seem to be reasonable and there is some development of them. Vocabulary is good, with some specific topic-related items, e.g. cardiovascular, cognition, enhancing strength. Grammar is very good, both in terms of ra...
- Wed May 17, 2017 5:14 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Please evaluate and rate my Essay3
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1219
Re: Please evaluate and rate my Essay3
Hello! Great question! Indubitably? Are you going to the Victorian Empire English School?! Overall, not a bad answer, but you haven't really looked at the role of the father. The example in the second main paragraph is not clear. Simply reverse the positions and it doesn't prove that either men or w...
- Wed May 17, 2017 4:59 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: kindly advice on task 2
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1453
Re: kindly advice on task 2
Hello! Overall, this is a very good essay. Points are clear and developed to some extent. Vocabulary and grammar are used well - excessive consumption, the more ... the higher, positively correlated, can result in, are linked with. I'd prefer a more personal conclusion, though this type of essay doe...
- Wed May 17, 2017 4:51 am
- Forum: Post your writing
- Topic: Seeking comment or advice on my essay regarding advantages and disadvantages
- Replies: 1
- Views: 1587
Re: Seeking comment or advice on my essay regarding advantages and disadvantages
Hello! I think you need to explain the 'easy, flexible and fast' aspects of renting. You assume that there a lot of properties available at good prices, which is not always the case! Many owners prefer to rent for longer periods, so 'flexible' may not be true either. OK, so your points in the second...